DUH. (prononounced DAHHHH)

That's a new expression I picked up lately. I dunno where the hell I got it, but when I woke up at four am summoned by my angel, I found this word had seeped into my vocab. So now when I think someone is making a corny joke, I reply DAHHHH.. When I think someone is being stupid, i say DAHHHH. When I watch MTB or whatever variety noontime show there is, I think DAHHHH.. I saw Jolina on SOP and thought DAHHHH. And when I saw that bald Hottah-hottah guy on ASAP rapping, grabe... That was so DAHHHH.. A friend of mine mocked me saying I was a "miriamite" (student from Miriam College). Freak, I wouldn't study in that school even if it were the only school in the planet. But if ever you do bump into me in Miriam College, please understand that I have parents that can be such a blood clot in the artery.

This is just one of the many things i emulate both consciously and unconsciously. Some of them really shallow, and the others well, really deep. DAHHHH. I believe that's how I became me. I do what others do. I never really believed I had my own sense of style so I copied off from my friends. Take Junior Year. I vowed I'd never wear make up because I knew I didn't look good in make up, especially red lipstick. Powder made my face look like espasol (a sweet) because I didn't know how to apply it right, and when I did learn, I'd sweat too much causing me to look worse than when I had the powder on. But then the girls in my class wore lipgloss and skin tone lipstick. So I decided to try it. And hey! It didn't make me look like a million dollars, but at least it made me look better. And so after that, I would buy whatever make up the other girls in class had. I don't know what it is in the make up, but it also made me act conyo (vagina. Just kidding, although that's what it really means. hehehe).

Anyway, when I got to college, I realized I couldn't cut it working on my face every single morning and the weather was hot anyway for me to be anywhere near fresh. So I decided to quit the make-up and branded myself as off-beat, even though I never really knew the real meaning of off-beat.

Soon I knocked some sense into myself and I felt my roots: I am fun-loving. I can be apathetic and it works for me. I enjoy running and improving my endurance. I like alternative music and I fell in love with No Doubt a long time ago. I like Save Ferris. I am practical. I can be a bitch. I don't know how to fight. I easily get pissed off but when I do I don't show it, I just ignore it. I could be really shy but this is brought on by lack of self-confidence. I hate people who lack self-confidence. Myself, included. I don't like that much attention, although attention is good. I hate warm weather. I am not afraid to express myself. I am not afraid of my teachers. But I can be afraid of students. When I'm right I fight for it. Only when called for. Hehehe. And many, many more.

Based on these bits of information, I live by them. Not as a whole, but as bits. I don't see how you can jumble these traits into a certain category, but you can't. Lack of self-confidence and being brave enough to express myself don't go together. Neither does my dislike for warm weather and running.

So I didn't and that's what I am now. Hardeharhar.